if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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