Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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