im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
