Got a toothbrush?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
