Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
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he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
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Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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