I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
