Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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