i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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