Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
