just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
