I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
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Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
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we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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