He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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