Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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