No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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