why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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