who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
