the new term for farting is butt boxing.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
