Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
