he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
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no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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