she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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