Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
