Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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