Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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