I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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