I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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