I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
