I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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