I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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