I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
