It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
