How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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