Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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