How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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