Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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