umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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