Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
