Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
