Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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