am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize