Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
