I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
