And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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