That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
