ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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