it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
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Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
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Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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