Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize