I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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