we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
