You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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