i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
