i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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