My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You know, be my cock's hype man.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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