i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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