Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
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small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
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Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
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