I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
