We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We were destined to go to rehab together
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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