i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
