before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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